I've figured it out. After a long deliberation, I've figured out how to make anything cute, fluffy, or otherwise hyperglycemia-inducing object incredibly badass.

Why? Because I was recently made fun of for my oft-used internet moniker, Cygnus. Why? Well, alright, it means swan. Why did I start using it? Katamari Damacy, honestly. I just finished the level where I had to collect swans, and really liked the sound and spelling the the name. Cyg-nus... I liked it. Shut up?

Anyway, so, after being taunted by this, I wikipedia'd Cygnus to find anything interesting about the name. I did indeed. [link]
Looking at this, the name was a possible black hole, a programming company, a few band-related things... whatever. The most notable was the fact that the name appears (Differently in spelling, however same in pronunciation) in Greek Mythology of being the son of Ares, the FUCKING GOD OF WAR.

However, most people will still know Cygnus as the constellation, the swan. Not exactly something quite as manly or awesome as the FUCKING GOD OF WAR. At this point, I generally have put a bullet through their head with Bullpup in CS:S, so they shut up... usually.

However, I still was getting flak for it, so I thought, "Hmm, how can I make a swan look badass?" Then it came to me. One of the most bad-ass beasts around is the Nightmare. If you're familiar with Magic, you'll know this guy. If you aren't, well... [link]

So it hit me at that point: ANYTHING you turn jet-black and put on fire is going to be ridiculously badass. ANYTHING. Bunnies. Kittens. Small puppies. Squirrels. ANYTHING that's jet-black and on FIRE is going to be awesome.

The problem: Google Image Search and DA has turned up no swans that are black and on FIRE. Anybody want to draw one?